How to kill the dead?
Everything was ten, while also knew he was ten. But two weeks ago I've been playing the floor of the depression, "now is the old" almost nearly killed me.
True that about six months since we talked, I chose not to follow his game, not what he wanted me to be: a hobby, those who are content with crumbs of time, he could only see it when he could.
But now everything changed, the pride went down the garbage, when just over three weeks I got the news that he was interned in Santa Fe, on a ventilator fighting between staying here or leaving.
Ok, I admit that several times I said that to me was dead, but not the same "dead-believe" where there is still some hope that the situation will change, that "really dead" where the story ends, no You can change or say or do anything else.
I am very sad, indeed, I feel helpless, I can not go see him, because I have no "right", I am nothing, and here I identify with my beloved Evita, trying to be legitimate, when in fact I'm badly kept secret, the other, the imposter .... rather "nothing", "NO" which is worse.
From the corner of my room I hope news of his health, unable to even approach the door of the hospital.
What is worse, and what makes me sadder, is that a week ago they removed the respirator, able to speak and the first thing he asked was that he carried his "baby" who was taken urgently, but could not enter the room therapy for their age.
And your other daughter? The other? ... "She who from her room, it's on the phone waiting for news of him? ...
I ask you think of me?, Imagine that in the solitude of his hospital bed will have plenty of time to think, I think that sometime my name will go through your head, Do you know anyone?. Almost
almost died, he who was always dominated, "a pollerudo" and never could do anything he wanted, he was dying without being able to "Being" and "doing."
Several times, when I thought our story, my story without it, I remember that book by Gabriel García Marquez "Love in the Time of Cholera" in which Florentino Ariza could only be with Fermina Daza when her husband died, I'll have to wait for "her" die for my father comes to show the world as his daughter. She is not left, prohibits, it threatens to take "the baby" if you come after me.
LIES !!!... only to feel someone, if he really would come to me and face everybody.
Viejo, do not die now, even I have things to say.
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